She was full of life, a spark of joy and wonder, and she hung on me like a baby bird. I adored her and she always wrote loving cards and pictures for me. One day she looked at me with the loving eyes she always does, and I expected her to say "I was her big shining star". A phrase she had said to me many times, and even written on cards, but she calmly and non-judgmentally said "Simone, why come you never brush your hair?" I froze for a moment and realized that not only had it not occurred to me that my hair grooming was unruly, but that I wasn't even particularly sure how to answer that question. Should I be offended? Should I come up with a well constructed defense mechanism for my appearance? I didn't know. Then a flash came across my mind and I wondered for a moment if everyone close to me secretly wondered this. My physiologist parents sitting at the dining room table shaking their heads, "She has done well, but why come she doesn't brush her hair?" I was presented with an honest mirror. I realized in that second two very simple things. One, why I seek time with youth no matter what I may have going on in my life. They are very real, and the joy and humility in that makes you aware of yourself, and the world, and all things that matter. And, two, there is a part of me that likes to be slightly untamed and this is why I may unconsciously not tend to every hair on my head. I had a response for her. " Well, I like to be a little wild, like a lion with a big mane." And I took my hands and playfully swatted at her like a cat and roared. She nestled her head into my chest and then said "I still love you anyway" and with that she ran off to play. I walked home feeling a little lighter that day. I was seen for my weaknesses, it was brought to my attention, I was accepted for them, and that made me love myself and the world a little bit more. I may have even roared at an in-expecting neighbor on the walk home, just to own my new found self awareness a bit more.
