'Tis the Season to Crack Some Nuts...

'Tis the Season to Crack Some Nuts...Please share and enjoy!

May your holidays be filled with joy and laughter this season...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nm9u8iRENlU

Criticize me Rightly

How do we criticize another in a constructive manner, is there any reason to criticize another at all? Blame, attacks, put downs, negativity are all a waste of time and erode at the self and our intimate relationships.

So, what is the way to criticize someone rightly? And, to whose criticism should we listen to? The wonderful author Elizabeth Gilbert was saying that she never ever reads her critics reviews, or reads feedback on her work on the Internet. Why? There is no point, it will in no way better her, or her work at that point. This however, does not mean that she does not take constructive criticism, from the right people at the right time.

I have noticed that as I mature and come into my own I am more discerning about who I am listening to regarding the feedback they are giving to me about my heart, my art, or my character. If I go around listening to everyone (as I have tried to do at times) I find that I become a jumble of feelings with lack of direction. I am trying so hard to try to be nice, good, pleasing to everyone and often people of whom it shouldn't matter.

So, here are my four criteria now for people that I listen to regarding my faults and my growth.

# 1 - Do you know me enough to understand my soul and my goal?
#2 - Do you have my best interests in mind when you give me feedback?
#3 - Do I trust your expertise, insight, and guidance?
#4 - Do you have a tender heart and give me the feedback with kindness and caring?

That's it. I want feedback. I want criticism. I want to grow, and I want to know all my blind spots. Some of my best and most intimate relationships have helped me see so about myself that I needed to improve. This is wonderful, however I must trust you want the best for me and that your insight is with clarity and love. And, that said, I'll try with all my might to only give feedback in this fashion to those loved ones around me as well.

For the Love of Honesty

Radical honesty is the only way to keep love living, breathing, and alive.

It breeds intimacy, authenticity, trust, communication, and freedom of self.

It is the true language of unconditional lasting love and worth every risk of vulnerability.

Keep the love alive with truth. xo Simone

People of Possibility

White Noise.

There is so much information out there. Racing at the speed of light. Into our minds, into our consciousness, into our hearts. It comes in and is filtered through our soul so quickly it is hard for us to tell where it begins and we end. It is one big pulsating universal vibration. Do I think that person is beautiful, or do ads just tell me to think that? Do I want to be a lawyer, or is it just to make my parents happy? Am I ready to get married, or is it just because people say it's time? In the end all of this is white noise that distracts us from our true self, from our heart, from our direction, from our own song.

We all have a path. It is noble, it is our direction, our way, our calling. It belongs to no one but us. We must listen to it, we must follow it, everything else is simply white noise. When we find ourselves thinking too much it may be because our heart is battling with our mind. Our heart always knows the truth, firmly, honestly, clearly - our mind questions with fear and doubt. Listen to the heart, block out the white noise. It is not always easy, but it is there, please give it welcoming space to come to the surface.

As Rumi says "Close your eyes, and look with another eye". You will see the way with no distraction.

For You.

For you whom I spoke to who then took something from my purse. For you who complimented me and then deceived me. For you who carefully left everything in tack except for my bank cards and my varying ID's. For you who knew what you were doing. For you who went to Home Depot, 711, QFC, and bought things with my identity. For you who had a moment to make a different choice, but did not. For you who smiled at me and then stole from me. For you who must feel there is no better option then to take from someone else.

 For you. I forgive you.

I am not sure what your name is, or if you are married, or if you have children, or where you live. I am not sure why you felt you needed to take those things from me on that day. I was in shock, we were at a public pool, it was a beautiful sunny day. My cards will be replaced, my money will be replaced, but my identity can never be replaced - because it is mine from the inside out. My life moves on, but perhaps this sits inside of you. I am not mad. Only sad. I wish more for you. You deserve more, when you take from another, you are taking from yourself because we are all one. I am not certain as to all the circumstances in your life, but I wish it gets better for you. There is more for you out there in this life. I wish you peace, I wish you the best.

Be.You.Tiful.

Beauty. It is an ever evolving concept and topic. Trends change, molds we need to fit in are re-shaped. It can be a battle to stay in and to keep up. Somewhere along the lines I stopped caring. I became less interesting in modeling and more interested in making a mold. As a teenager I think I was interested in fitting into the model mold, I had a body type that was current, and it appealed to me - and my ego. Then I wizened as I grew because I saw that I or that trend can change and the confidence from that validation is impermanent. I looked around and saw all the very different people of shapes and sizes that were deemed beautiful across the ages. I saw different countries and cultures that had totally differing opinions on the standard bar. Even in my own life I saw the waffling. When I was a ballet dancer I was told I could never be skinny enough, if I had no curves it was best. When I was modeling I was told it was good that I was thin but I should highlight my curves, my butt and boobs needed to be show cased. And, when I would volunteer in the prisons the kids would tell me daily I was too skinny and I needed to put some meat on my bones. Then I saw beauty mold makers and shapers who I thought were stunning like Audrey Hepburn who came out as a wisp like beauty in a fifties bombshell era. Or, Jennifer Lopez, who came out as a proud big booty owner in a sea of fake boobies world. Then everyone wanted to be like Audrey Hepburn or like Jennifer Lopez.

What am I trying to say? Don't buy the hype. If you fit into the current mold or not- who cares. Love yourself, love your body regardless. As the Tao Te Ching says "Whether you go up the ladder or down it you position is shaky, only when you have your two feet on the ground will you always have your balance." True beauty is self empowerment, healthiness, and confidence. Owning exactly what you are, as you are now.

Real Living.

Recently there was an eighty-one year old man that came to speak to a group of artists. He was a professional tango dancer, and had been his entire life. He danced, he performed, he toured, he taught. He talked to this group about dancing, form, art, posture, and living. In this brief lecture he said that after his performances many people would come up to him and tell him what an extraordinary dancer he was, and then they would ask him what he did for a living. He would tell them that he indeed danced for a living.

When he told this story there was a kindness but also an in-credulousness to the telling. Well, of course, he danced for a "living". He did what he loved, he did it everyday, and this is how he got so good at it. Why is there a separation between what we do, and what we do for a living? What we love, and what pays to do what we love. Mind the gap. There should be none. Do what you love, that's it, that is the "Real Living." 

Same Love.

Working with children. I sit, I listen, I mend, I heal, I fix, I laugh, I learn, but mostly I just try to care. A child turns to me, he runs over to me actually. He is four. He nestles his head on my stomach. He climbs up on my lap. He leans over to my face and puts his hand on my cheek. He comes to my ear and tells me calmly and quietly he loves me, he then leans back and looks at me and asks me if I am a boy or a girl.

It doesn't matter does it? He just asks because he is curious. The love is there regardless. I am at peace. And, in that moment I am reminded to check my vanity at the door. How dare he not know I am a girl, look at me? I am...eh, who cares. Love is love, it's all the same. The love is accepted, there is no ego any more.

Go Hug, or go Home.

I have volunteered on and off with children for a long time now. I love working with them, I always learn from them. I said to a four year old the other day "Can I have a little hug?" And he flatly, bluntly, and quickly said "No." Although I was fine with that answer, I was surprised, so I asked why. He said,"Because I only give big hugs." It was serious, direct, and very matter of fact. He then proceeded to pounce on me with an enormous bear tackle type hug with the entirety of his weight. I stood corrected. Big hug, or no hug. Go hard, or go home. There is no half way in anything. Give it everything you got, or don't give anything at all. That was my lesson. Thank you Professor four year old. I will only give big hugs from now on.

The Slow-Getter

You have heard of a "Go- Getter", generally it is stated as a compliment. They say, that person is a real "doer", a real "go-getter" they get things done and go after what they want. This person will be very successful in their life. This is also sometimes referred to as an ambitious person. Another term for it is perhaps a Type A person. Anxious, proactive, multi-taskers, that are often found in the workaholic camp...but these types of people are often highly regarded in our society as successful and their mode of being is respected and not to be disturbed.

So then, what about the less commonly referred to Type B personality? What even is a Type B personality? They are said to enjoy achievement, and work steadily, but not to the point of high stress. They are said to have less health problems, and have lower rates of disease. When they are faced with competition they seem to focus less on the loss and more on the enjoyment of the game they were involved in. They are not as goal driven, but seem to enjoy the process and the moment more. They often have less of a need to control and more of a need to collaborate. They are not in it for enjoying the winning of the race, but more the beauty of the run.

My friend once referred to these people as the "Slow-Getters."  There is no question I fall into this category. I talk slow, I walk slow, I eat slow, I drive slow. As far as I know I am the only person I have ever met that was pulled over for driving too slow. The officer laughed at me when I told him I was enjoying the view while I was driving. I have always tried to work smarter not harder, I have rarely done something I hated in the moment to achieve some goal down the line. I don't get stressed that often, nor so I like to be around stress. I don't really mind if I lose at something, but I always ask myself what I learned. I like to sit and do nothing, but be and feel everything. I love to enjoy my life, each moment of it, and I feel very comfortable with that choice. There is nothing wrong with being type A, in fact there are many times and places that it is very constructive. Alas, do not let society fool you either. There is also much to gain from the Type B perspective. It will get done, but the journey will also be enjoyed, and there is room for the ride.

Tall Trees Bow Low.

     It was Thursday. Thursday is the day I take Grandpa Bill for lunch. It has to be Thursday because Wednesday he has bridge club, another family member whisks him to lunch on Fridays, and there are other engagements I can't always keep track of. So, I covet Thursday. It is a beautiful thing to find a man near ninety with such a full dance card. It is never a question as to where we go to lunch. Pho. Every time, Pho. When he moved to Seattle ten years ago at eighty years old, he was first introduced to the Vietnamese noodle soup. It became a part of his and my grandmothers weekly routine. Three times a week they would go for a brief walk to stretch their legs and head for the noodle soup. Everyone at the noodle shop came to know them. They would arrive, and their order would be on the table before they could even take a seat.
     A few weeks ago I was taken back by the shops extra hospitality as we pulled up. One of the staff of the Pho came out and opened the doors for him as we came in. He ushered us to our seats, and made sure our settings were already on the table. He looked at Grandpa, and then looked at me and said "He is like the big tree, and I am nothing, I just bow down to him." And, with that he smiled and jaunted back into the kitchen to get our regular orders. Grandpa noted the comment, and beamed in full plumage without a word. I sat struck by the experience as I sucked noodles. I am not sure that they know each others name, I am not sure that they have been able to have a full conversation because of the language barrier, but when they see each other there is a fondness that surpasses idle talk. This man has brought soup to this man three times a week for ten years. This man nods when it's raining, this man smiles when it's sunny. This man waves hello, this man opens the door. It is a closeness of consistency and time. After my grandmother passed away, my grand father still went for Pho, but in time he felt that he needed to move to a different location for more assisted living. It was no longer possible to walk to the Pho. The first day he moved into the new home he asked to leave to go out to lunch for Pho. He wanted to know that at least that of some things might not change.
     I am not really sure how to age gracefully, I am not really sure how to help others to age gracefully. But, I know when I see it. Grandpa Bill has aged gracefully. He is a man content with where and who he is. He is content with his past, and content with his present. It is obvious in everything he does. But. for me never more obvious then when I watch  him eat a warm bowl of Pho soup served by a friendly knowing face.

For all the Urban Samurai out there...

Please enjoy our little book, "The Eightfold Path of the Urban Samurai"...
filled with eight guideposts that help one to live a more fulfilling life! :)

Thank you for supporting and inspiring me along this life journey.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Eightfold-Path-Urban-Samurai/dp/1500112933

There is No Job to Small...

     Grocery shopping is not something I really enjoy. Some people wander through the aisles, turning over every new item, pondering how to make a new dish and loving it. Not me, I got my staples, I get in I get out. The last few times I went in I seemed to enjoy the process more. I thought, maybe it's getting more interesting now that I am attempting to learn how to cook. But, I realized it wasn't that. There is a guy that works at one particular grocery store near my house that is absolutely the most positive person I have ever met in my life, and my heart is filled with joy every I time I encounter him and that's why I like it.
     It appears that he has the job of getting carts that people have abandoned in the parking lot to their rightful place. He also gives you a cart if you need it. He warmly greets you both before and after your shopping experience, and makes sure that everyone has all their needs met. When I was there the other day a car pulled out and did not see an older lady walking behind him, and he practically jumped front of the car telling it to stop so the woman would not be hurt. I walked out of the store and he asked me "How was your shopping experience? What was the best part about it?" And I smiled and said "You!" He smiled and put his hands to his heart and said "awww." In that moment I saw one of his arms wasn't fully formed and clenched in a claw towards his chest. I walked away and got into my car. As I sat in my car I watched him in the rear view mirror for a minute. I saw him grabbing carts, it was a laborious process, for me it would be at least. But, he waived and smiled at everyone he saw and seemed to love it. He talked to them and asked them how they were doing, and all with a significant limp in his walk. It was apparent after watching him not only was his arm not fully functional but it was very difficult for him to walk as well. I was in awe, I hadn't even noticed it the first few times I encountered him. His positive nature was contagious, his spirit bigger than his physical body, and I'm certain he improved everyone's shopping experience as much as he did mine.
    I concluded after this shopping experience that I was a bit of an ass in my own way. I was humbled by him, there is no job too small, no difficulty that should be overly complained about, and it is all about what you make of every situation. Needless to say I go out of my way to go to that particular grocery store, because it never hurts to get a dose of spiritual inspiration in your daily errands. And, even though he may not remember me, I thank him for being what we all should be and making the world better place in his corner.

Time to get Lost...

Sometimes you gotta let it all melt away and just be...who you are....may 2015 shine bright!

http://westseattleblog.com/2014/12/west-seattle-music-alki-artists-new-year-season-video/