Baby Wisdom

Things I have learned from my son:

Photo by Dawndra Budd

www.portraitsbydawndra.com

Every morning wake up excited for another day of living

Everything is full of awe and wonder everywhere 

Smiling at strangers brings everyone joy

Bright colors and patterns are interesting

It’s okto not like someone and have no reason

Naps are essential 

Staring at each other is an activity

Doing nothing is everything

Food is good

Taste everything before you decide if you like it

Going down with the sun and up with the sun is a perfect rhythm

Rest is our natural state, so is play

Whatever happened yesterday is done, today is a fresh day

Sometimes we just need to be held and nothing more

Our natural state is joy and peace we only fuss when we need something

We can get excited to see someone we just saw five minutes ago

Nature is the perfect amount of stimulation and calming at the same time

99% of communication is nonverbal

You can smile with your whole body

Emotions are not to be suppressed, they are to be expressed and then let go

Don’t worry about other peoples needs, express your own and let them decide what to do

It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks just do what pleases you

It’s ok to be dirty, and messy

We have all the entertainment we need within our own body

We don’t need much to be happy, just each other 

Thank you son, for making everything so perfectly clear and right. 

I love you beyond measure.

The Invisible Work of Women

My dream was to breast-feed peacefully under a tree. I thought this was an easy thing, the baby came out and like in the garden of Eden you sit there nourishing your baby in all your womanly glory. Then the baby came, and the breast-feeding began. I couldn’t believe the first time my baby latched - it hurt like a hundred knifes in my chest. Breathing through tears I thought, this can’t be right. This is supposed to be the most natural thing in the world, and it does not feel natural or comfortable in the slightest.

Photo By Dawndra Budd

http://www.portraitsbydawndra.com/

Everyone said it is normal for the first few months to hurt a lot, cracked nipples, bleeding, it’s just a part of the process…not to mention blocked ducts which makes you feel like your breasts are on fire. Why haven’t I heard about all this before? Of course you hear about challenges in pregnancy, and the pain of labor, but very few people talk about how difficult breast-feeding can be. It is more than a full-time job and some of the hardest work you will ever do. I was determined to do it because of both the nutritional benefits, and the experience I wanted to have with my child. Within two months of hard work, lactation consultation, and understanding that our babe had a tongue tie - “the breast-feed pain-free under a tree" dream came true...but it was a journey. Pumping is an incredible option and yet also challenging and time consuming. I have the fortune of not having to work full time, and from home at the moment (and my husband had a three month paternity leave) but for all of those people that had a child and went straight back to work… I can only imagine the leaking breasts, hours of pumping at your desk, and storing little bags of breastmilk in the office fridge. It’s astounding what women have done for years to nourish our humanity. The biggest thing for me is that most of this tremendous work, this life-giving unbelievably important and powerful gift is invisible. Millions of women have done it over the years behind closed doors, under blankets, and hidden in private corners. I love breast-feeding now, it is an incredible and joyous thing and I plan to do it for as long as I can - but it is also a process.  I want to say to all the women out there who have been doing this for lifetimes - thank you for your work, not always seen but of the utmost importance, thank you for feeding our humanity with your body. And for those women who didn’t breast-feed, I honor you as well.  If it was difficult with supply, pain in latching, having to work and not being able to be with your baby, or any other reason - it is totally valid. I get it. We all have to make the best choice for ourselves and our child for how to nourish our baby, and either way, it is a tremendous task and often not seen or acknowledged.  Women,  I see you and thank you for your labor of love.

A LA PISCINE - The Swimming Pool

For fun, and for a personal mission I have created a children's book. There are many different purposes for this story, but one is to create an awareness and mission for youth to protect our oceans. Attached you will find a 5 minute narrated video of the story, and a link to the amazon book. I might ask that you watch the video and check the 8 points in the video description to see if you and your family are doing some of what you can to protect our oceans, our planet, and ourselves. Links Below! I THANK YOU SO MUCH in advance for your time and consideration. Much love, Simone 

Please Check out:  A LA PISCINE - The Swimming Pool (Video) 

And: A LA PISCINE - The Children's Book

See the World

     It is an wild time on our planet. Our planet is having a pause around the globe in a way it never has before. In that sometimes we are forced to see new parts of the world, and faced with unknown parts of ourselves. It is a difficult thing to not only face oneself, but to truly look at the hardships in the world. It would be easier to avoid them, easier to stay busy and keep on keeping on so we didn’t have to feel.

    In quarantine I have been doing a lot of seeing, a lot of creating, and sometimes picking up new things I have never done before. This is my first painting, “See the World.” I started painting and then watched Bob Ross to see what I could pick up from the painting guru. What I picked up is that I should’ve started watching him before I started painting, but that’s alright. It’s a process. Watching him was a joy of discovery, and a joy of seeing and exploring the natural world. I found myself looking at clouds, looking at trees, observing how water and light move, observing the mountains in their majesty. It was definitely a meditation not only seeing the world around me but the world inside of me as well. There is so much difficulty going on in the world right now, we must find ways to process. Try something new and you might find parts of yourself, and parts of the planet that you never knew existed. And in that become a little bigger, a little fuller in your vision, and a little deeper than you ever were before.

 

 

Share Your He(ART)

Over the past year amidst artist projects I have been spending time with elders during this global pandemic. The elders that I have been seeing are primarily isolated in their own apartments, not able to see friends, family, or have visitors. They are taking meals in their rooms, and may have someone like me visit them once or twice a day for ten or fifteen minutes simply to give them some connection. It is a tremendous amount of isolation, and the emotional turmoil that I have seen is sometimes greater than my heart can take. The pain unbearable, the loneliness daunting, the empty days drifting into each other.

One of the things I can do is assist them in making phone calls to their loved ones. Once or twice a week their family members, or friends schedule a zoom or FaceTime call with them so they can actually see their beloved elder. For many of the people in their eighties and nineties zoom is not a pleasurable activity in the least, and they don’t understand why their family insists on seeing them on the strange screen and attempting to communicate that way instead of visiting them. You can explain about the virus but even if you do, it is quickly forgotten minutes later or not understood. Some family members have wisely  picked up on their family members disenchantment with these phone calls...but have no other real option.

 Some months ago I started to see some thing new. Family members still wanted to call, still wanted to see their loved one, but they didn’t want to force on them an unenjoyable conversation in the same way. They also were changing themselves because on the other side of the phone no matter their age or their work, they also were forced to be at home and quarantine. Space surrounded them, stillness, and being stuck in a house with yourself or your family for almost a year new habits and hobbies begin to emerge.

Photo by Dawndra Budd

The first time it happened I was completely shocked. A son called his mother, she was in her 90s and he was somewhere in his 70s, he barely said any words to her but he told her that he had picked up the guitar again even though he hadn’t played for years. He had worked on a set list for her and for nearly 45 minutes he played song after song singing his heart out to his mother. She sat completely engaged totally enamored and never for one second did she seem frustrated with the technology or confused. In some moments I even saw her mouthing along singing the words, and other times I could see there were some tears welling up in her eyes. She was feeling so much and appeared so connected, by simply watching her son play the guitar and loving listening to the music. I thought perhaps this was a wonderful one time event until a few days later a daughter called to speak with her mother and she had picked up her dusty cello. She played for nearly an hour and again her mother was completely transfixed. I started to see it more and more sons and daughters calling their elderly relatives and instead of forcing conversation on them they simply offered them some art. It was an instrument perhaps they played in high school but had tossed aside, maybe it was a singing career long gone, or a painting that they were working on that they wanted to share. It was the most beautiful thing. Sometimes I envisioned these parents were thrilled because they had spent years taxiing their children back-and-forth to these arduous artistic lessons, both painstakingly and financially draining, only for the art to be shoved aside at some point for a more lucrative career. Maybe it was rewarding to them that all their karmic good efforts were coming back to gift them generous performances in their latter years, and in their most vulnerable and isolated moments. 

I don’t know the answers. I can’t even begin to say that I know why this worked so well. But, I do know there is something very special about authentic art. When you share your art, you share your heart. When you share your heart you are vulnerable, but you also offer tremendous tenderness and connection. This last year has been unbelievably hard for many, and I won’t pretend for a second that sometimes I was heartbroken to tears when I went home after visiting these elders. But, I will also say their were moments of such overwhelming depth and beauty that I will be forever changed. I now see the resilience of the human spirit, its creativity and its desire not just to survive but to thrive even in the most difficult of circumstances. Share your heart, share your art...it is the only way we will get through this all together.
 

SNUG LIFE: The Snuggle is Real

With Credits: Beats by OP BEATZ. www.opbeatz.com Written and performed by Simone Bruyere Fraser. www.Simonebruyerefraser.com Special Thanks to: DP Miles Jackson Forgette, Wardrobe The Bobov Family, Locations Camille Gibson. Stay home, mask up, and stay safe and healthy everyone! www.simonebruyerefraser.com www.opbeatz.com https://www.facebook.com/simonebruyerefraser https://soundcloud.com/simone-bruyere-fraser @SimoneB_F https://www.linkedin.com/in/simonebf

DA BAIT

Beats by OP Beatz

Written and Performed by Simone Bruyere Fraser Camera Moderator Miles Jackson Forgette www.simonebruyerefraser.com www.opbeatz.com https://www.facebook.com/simonebruyer... https://soundcloud.com/simone-bruyere... @SimoneB_F https://www.linkedin.com/in/simonebf