'Tis the Season to Crack Some Nuts...Please share and enjoy!
May your holidays be filled with joy and laughter this season...
Monday, December 7, 2015
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Criticize me Rightly
How do we criticize another in a constructive manner, is there any reason to criticize another at all? Blame, attacks, put downs, negativity are all a waste of time and erode at the self and our intimate relationships.
So, what is the way to criticize someone rightly? And, to whose criticism should we listen to? The wonderful author Elizabeth Gilbert was saying that she never ever reads her critics reviews, or reads feedback on her work on the Internet. Why? There is no point, it will in no way better her, or her work at that point. This however, does not mean that she does not take constructive criticism, from the right people at the right time.
I have noticed that as I mature and come into my own I am more discerning about who I am listening to regarding the feedback they are giving to me about my heart, my art, or my character. If I go around listening to everyone (as I have tried to do at times) I find that I become a jumble of feelings with lack of direction. I am trying so hard to try to be nice, good, pleasing to everyone and often people of whom it shouldn't matter.
So, here are my four criteria now for people that I listen to regarding my faults and my growth.
# 1 - Do you know me enough to understand my soul and my goal?
#2 - Do you have my best interests in mind when you give me feedback?
#3 - Do I trust your expertise, insight, and guidance?
#4 - Do you have a tender heart and give me the feedback with kindness and caring?
That's it. I want feedback. I want criticism. I want to grow, and I want to know all my blind spots. Some of my best and most intimate relationships have helped me see so about myself that I needed to improve. This is wonderful, however I must trust you want the best for me and that your insight is with clarity and love. And, that said, I'll try with all my might to only give feedback in this fashion to those loved ones around me as well.
So, what is the way to criticize someone rightly? And, to whose criticism should we listen to? The wonderful author Elizabeth Gilbert was saying that she never ever reads her critics reviews, or reads feedback on her work on the Internet. Why? There is no point, it will in no way better her, or her work at that point. This however, does not mean that she does not take constructive criticism, from the right people at the right time.
I have noticed that as I mature and come into my own I am more discerning about who I am listening to regarding the feedback they are giving to me about my heart, my art, or my character. If I go around listening to everyone (as I have tried to do at times) I find that I become a jumble of feelings with lack of direction. I am trying so hard to try to be nice, good, pleasing to everyone and often people of whom it shouldn't matter.
So, here are my four criteria now for people that I listen to regarding my faults and my growth.
# 1 - Do you know me enough to understand my soul and my goal?
#2 - Do you have my best interests in mind when you give me feedback?
#3 - Do I trust your expertise, insight, and guidance?
#4 - Do you have a tender heart and give me the feedback with kindness and caring?
That's it. I want feedback. I want criticism. I want to grow, and I want to know all my blind spots. Some of my best and most intimate relationships have helped me see so about myself that I needed to improve. This is wonderful, however I must trust you want the best for me and that your insight is with clarity and love. And, that said, I'll try with all my might to only give feedback in this fashion to those loved ones around me as well.
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