We are all Warriors

When we started on this video it wasn't about politics, it wasn't about gender, it wasn't about race, sexuality, anger, and yet somehow upon it's completion I can't help but feel this video reflects so much about the current circumstances. We are all warriors in our own right -  fighting for what is true both in our life and for our legacy. Fighting for how we must spend each day, and for what we want to leave behind when we are gone. 

Samurai are known to be warriors who dedicated a lifetime to the practice of service, and I always wondered how we could continue to do that in our everyday life. We can be spiritual warriors of service to all, in every aspect of our existence even in the most mundane everyday tasks. It starts with the battle of acceptance of ourselves, from there we can start to be the best version of our truest self for us and for our community. 

This song and music video are about that, and came out of a little book we wrote called “The Eightfold Path of the Urban Samurai” : 

The Eightfold Path of the Urban Samurai - Please Enjoy our Book!

Urban Samurai Music Video   - Please Enjoy our Music Video!

Photo by Valera Vulfson

There are many people to thank for making this music video project a reality. Val Vulfson and Trinh Ho our directors, the NorthWest Kendo Dojo, the beautiful singing of Jenny Karr, and her vocal producer Mathia Gaverial, original music by Carl Clark, family and friends, and our glorious children from West Seattle, embodying the next generation of spiritual warriors. 

Please connect with me by visiting my website www.simonebruyerefraser.com. Come create art with me, like our facebook page, our Youtube channel, or lets serve our community together. Join our team. Go laugh, play, make art, and declare your day.

Princess of the Porta Potty

It was a half hour before my audition. I was driving in the middle of no where for hours and I had to use the rest room. I had dressed for my audition before I started the drive to allow myself to be in character during the journey. I wore a long, big, flowing white dress, big dangling earrings, full make up, tousled hair, and combat boots. I looked for rest stop signs, or a place where there might be a public restroom I could use, but I didn't see anything....for miles.

 I continued driving until a saw a small porta potty at the end of a large construction site. I thought to myself, this will be quick, I'll just jump out of the car - use it real fast and jump right back on the road. Not a moment wasted. The construction site was completely abandoned. Not a worker on site, all the cranes were in a resting position at another corner of the lot far from the potty. I pulled over. 

I step out of the car, and hike my big white flowing dress up exposing my combat boots. There is a slight breeze that fans my hair and balloons my dress, I start marching towards the porta potty. When I get there the door is slightly ajar and the handle is a full green, unoccupied ready for me to go, so I take my hand and in a whirlwind fling open the door...

 Much to my utter shock and surprise - it is occupied. A construction worker is sitting in a very stable position that seems it has been sunken into for some time now. One hand appears to be reaching behind him, with a wad full of toilet paper. I am in shock. Time slows down. The breeze comes again and fills my hair and dress with life. He looks up at me, his eyes wide like saucers, and his mouth slightly ajar. I take the time to notice...he is handsome. He's young with dark skin, big Bambi eyes, pearly white teeth, and wearing a large construction hat and a shiny orange vest. I realize by now I have been holding the door open for what may be an abnormally long time considering the circumstances. His expression and body - hand position have not moved one millimeter since I opened the door.  I decide I should say something.

" Oh Hello!!!! Have a beautiful day!!!!" And with that I close the door to his throne. My hands reach for my dress, and I gather it up again. I march towards my car with my stomping boots, the breeze dancing around my suddenly extremely hot and pulsing body. The car appears to be miles away, but I finally make it back to my safe zone. I get in the car and lock the door, locking a door is a must I now realize, even if you think you are alone. I think about all the times I am alone in my house and leave the bathroom door open just because I can. I pull my car on to the road. I start to laugh, then I start to cry, I can barely breath I am laughing so hard. I can't even see the road through my laughing and tears. I just keep thinking about this lovely mans face when I opened the door. It all  must have been so surreal for him. I contemplate as I drive if I should have stayed to have a chat with him and used the bathroom, nope. I didn't seem to feel the need to use the restroom anymore.

Mission accomplished. I was ready for my acting audition. What is the meaning of all this? Well, take what you want from it, but for me it is two things. One, laughter is always the best medicine and two, take the road less traveled, it will make all the difference. I promise.

The Art of Connection

How do we connect to others? What makes a true intimate connection, and a feeling of being one with others? We try to understand what they are going through and working on, we try to practically help them with our actions and lend a helping hand, we listen, and we empathize with whatever feelings they may have.
Recently I had an audition for something, and sometimes I film myself just to get a feel of the work. This is my very first improv run through so don't mind my playing with the work,  but pay attention to Koshka the cat and the very strong reaction she has to the process - which blew my mind. I didn't see it coming but was very touched. Her level of being in tune and how she wanted to connect is something we can all learn from. :)

YouTube Video Link - Cat Acting

Here are some of the things I observed, and I hope to remember and use them as I connect with others:

#1. She looks at the scripts and papers I am reading and studies what I am doing and what they are about
#2. She gets on my back actually tries to help pull and shout and help me do the action I am doing
#3. She listens, she is present, and tries to understand and doesn't try to change me when I am processing
#4. When my emotions become very strong she tries to hug and console me and actually cries with me

Let us all move through life being Fully Feeling Feline's...

Go. Get. It.

I'm talking about what you want in life more than anything. The big dream. It has nothing to do with other people. It has everything to do with you. People will say no, I say GO. No what? No when? No how? No why? No way! There is ALWAYS a way. It all begins when they say no and you go anyway. Why? Because that is when you take responsibility for yourself, for your life, for your vision, for your truth. Begin the journey of seeing "No" as just a small bump in the road where you run a little harder towards your goals. 

Sharpening the Sword

How does one evolve and become better? Why should one want to progress? And, what does it take? I like to call this process "Sharpening the Sword". In the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey he talks about "sharpening the saw" which is based on a very similar premise - growing. He states that there are four major sections to work on - our intellectual growth (IQ), our Spiritual growth (SQ), our emotional growth (EQ), and our physical growth (PQ). We all have sections more evolved than others, like Olympic athletes generally have a very high PQ, and Gandhi may have had a very high SQ. However, the more I mature, I see how interconnected all these things are and that they all need work to evolve and balance each other. Why should we grow? Well, the more we grow the deeper fulfillment we have in life, and the greater our joy, accomplishments, love, and overall satisfaction. Does it take work? Yes - and often pain too. We live in a fast fix nation and most people do not want to do the work to evolve. If there is a misconception in the mind they would rather self medicate with an addiction than go into therapy, they resist having a healthy diet and work out plan to train their body, or would rather get the cliff's notes instead of learning something new and becoming wiser from diving into and learning a new topic. We MUST fail forward. I believe the path of a Samurai  is a constant state of evolution, not simply because we want to get somewhere to attain a non-existent perfection- but because we have fallen in love with the process of evolving. Sometimes it is painful when we see and become aware of our blind spots, but there is no path but forward, and ultimately the pain of finding our faults and overcoming them is less painful then the dull ache of avoiding truth and knowing that we are not doing all that we need to do for ourselves to get to the next level. I love growing, almost to a weird obsessive fault, but this is just another something I shall work on... ;) 

Photo by Valera Vulfson

In Your Corner.

I recently have had an experience of feeling that someone was totally and completely in my corner. Now let me be clear I have many friends and family members that are always wanting the best for me, but this experience was different. It was like a boxer going into the corner while fighting a fight and being talked to by a coach, an actor disappearing into a role because they are trusting their director, a mentor leading a young child. I have always looked for mentors, people I respected tremendously that I perceived as being further down the path of evolution than me in one form or another. It is unbelievably rewarding. I think we are a generation that forgets about mentors, true teachers, and unfailing coaches. We think if we just do a quick google search and watch a few YouTube videos we will get the gist...but we will be missing the connection. I have found that being in the very presence of this coach to be inspiring, I find watching the way they handle things to be illuminating, and when they are in my corner wanting me to jump to the next level I feel invincible. I know they will provide wisdom if I fail, and I feel more fearless in flying. We all need people in our corner.

The Right Vibe.

Your thoughts, your body language, your energy, your vibe. Ninety percent of the cues we get from people do not come from their words, but from everything else we take in from them. There is so much information coming at us, that it would be wise to take a moment to see what messages we may be sending with or with out our knowing it - and without saying a word. Energy speaks louder then words. Pay attention to how you feel in each moment. Maybe someone is saying nice things, but you feel really bad after you spend time with them. This is something to pay attention to, maybe they are sending you a vibe that doesn't feel good or cuts down who you are. Or, conversely, maybe you spent some time with someone somewhere that felt amazing, and maybe you barely talked about anything important, but for some reason afterward you simply felt invincible. When you get your vibe right, your life will surely align all the right ways too. Your energy walks into the room before you open your mouth, and it stays in the room after you leave. It lingers, it leaves an impression, it gives a feeling, it is the real exchange. Make sure your are getting and giving, the right vibe....

The Space to be You.

I have been feeling like I need more space to be me. What does this mean? Am I not always me? I am me. However, we can all fall into traps that ebb and flow in our life, and sometimes the "me" changes and evolves. Often we have roles that we play, and we might not even realize it. This is my "boss" mode, this is my "mother" mode, this is my "husband" mode, this is my "friend" mode. There is nothing wrong with these modes or roles, and different people and situations bring out different parts of our natural selves that are authentically in us. Here's the thing though, sometimes the roles can become constricting, even if they are positive modes or roles. The hardest thing is when we change, or just feel different some days, and it may not fit into the way that our family/friends/employees/bosses see us. We can start limiting ourselves based on their perceptions, and this is dangerous. DO not be limited by other people's perceptions, even if they may be positive (and they can be negative too), they can become traps. Recognize your deepest connections go outside of roles, and see the true you regardless of the circumstances. One of the greatest gifts in life is to see to the core of someone, and to have them see you in return. Try to continually check in with your authentic self, your true voice, your present bliss in the moment to be the most fulfilled version of the current you.

Stop. What's that Sound?

                                                         Photo by Valera Vulfson

Listening. It is one of the hardest things to do, and one of the most important skills we will ever need to master. It is the third guidepost in my little book "The Eightfold Path of the Urban Samurai". Those who are wise listen. I am not saying I am wise, I am saying I work at listening. It is a life long process. Not just to people's words, but to their hearts, not just to the noises in this world, but to its beating pulse, and not just to others but to our own soul. Listening takes courage. It is a risk of being vulnerable and taking in information that may change us, may challenge what we know to be true. But, this is a must. If we walk around with blinders in our perception on and don't listen - it will simply become harder to exist in reality and grow.  Social masks and the need to be right, gets in the way of our listening. We all wear them. We get validation for false selves in this world, but when we truly listen we are forced to take the masks off if even for a second. To be able to be open to being available, to listen with everything we have is to disappear for a moment into the grand totality of life. It takes consciousness, courage, and selflessness. When we listen we learn, when we learn we incorporate, when we incorporate we become bigger, when we become bigger we grow, when we grow it is easier to make good choices, when we make strong choices we are fulfilled. Listen, it is worth the risk and the work, your relationships will thrive and your soul will soar to new heights.

Assert your Soul.

                                           Photo by Valera Vulfson

There are five major forms of communication. They are: passive, passive aggressive, assertive, aggressive, and assultive. We all go from one form to another sometimes using one way more frequently then others because it is more comfortable, or convenient for us. There is no problem with this on smaller gradations on the scale. However, in more significant circumstances, and with bigger swings in communication form, it can become serious and dangerous. When I was working with kids in prison they rarely had clear assertive communication. They would swing wildly between not knowing their needs, and being very passive almost like a door mat, to being aggressive and assultive when they felt their needs were not met or their boundaries had been crossed. The aim should be towards the center. A calm assertive manner is often the best form of communication. What is assertive, and what does it look like? Calm, clear, firm, and statements that come from a place of "this is what I need for me." This is what is true for my soul. This is how I feel, this is what I need to be happy and fulfilled, and this is my opinion. There is often a desire to blame others, to assume them responsible of the things that are bothering us in our life. This is easy, but noneffective. Let us speak about how we feel to them, but let them be where they need to be, and assert our needs for us. Blame never fixes anything. It is dis-empowering, toxic, and dissolves relationships quicker then anything. We are responsible for asserting what our soul needs. Like a Samurai with a sword, use your words with clear assertiveness to carve out the life you want to live. Cut away the things that don't work and move towards the things that do.

Mold Makers. Rule Breakers. Razor Takers. Beauty Fakers.

I was changing. I didn't care anymore about being a vision of sexy or beautiful. I didn't want to work at something or fit into something. I just wanted to be me. I had been acting and modeling for ten years, and I was over it. I knew it when I had a modeling call about a year ago. It was a call for "great body, great legs - probably mostly shots from the back, please wear short shirts." I knew I should go, the agent had me confirmed. I woke up that morning, and didn't feel like shaving my legs. I wanted to write in my journal, and read. I went to the audition. I went with about a dozen other girls, I wore my short skirt, my legs were furry.

This is when I knew I was done. I didn't want to be a model anymore, I wanted to make a mold.

I wanted to sell soul, and not sex. Or maybe I simply wanted to sell sex with soul. I wanted to be whole. The whole me, not a version, or a vision, or a perception, or a feminine idealized prison. Only to be the real me.
I was shooting a music video a few moths ago, and someone came up to me and asked me if I was a model or an actress. I was rapping in that particular video, so I said, "I am a rapper." I felt this feeling of relief and joy wash over because I realized in that moment I was able to be whole. I was allowed to have an opinion and a voice in that statement, I wasn't an object anymore, I was a subject. I was no longer devoid of an internal experience as a 2-D person, and I wanted to be beautiful and sexy again, because I was allowed to do it with my whole self. Have a voice, make a choice to be the fullest most truly beautiful authentic version of yourself possible. I promise that your internal fulfillment and joyful contentment will thank you for the truth.

For the Power of Love.

Happy Birthday Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

I will look to your guidance now and always...

Dying to Live.

It is the New Year. We let the old year go, the old yuck, the big junk, the mucky funk, and put the sweet sweet memories into a file cabinet in our soul and then we let it all go. We start fresh, we begin anew. It is a small death in a way, a mini memorial in which the whole soul gets to be reborn. I believe when we learn how to die, we start to live, and we begin to live only when we have let parts of our self die. It is a life long journey of shedding the skins that don't fit anymore and stepping into larger forms, or simply different forms.

So, this 2016, let the selves go that need to go. The inner critic, the old clothing, the people that don't support the true you. Hold onto the last few bits that are authentic and let that be the foundation for the new self to be born. You will die one day, it is O.K. Let death help you remember that all you have is today. Be you.