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| Photo By Allen Wyler |
One of life's greatest gifts is To Be Seen. It does not happen as much as it should. It is a busy world of assumptions, judgments, negativity, and criticism. We as a collective can be so caught up in our own head that sometimes we fail to really see others or be seen ourselves. Why? Because it's harder to see, it forces us to get outside of our self, to learn something new, to be humbled not to know. So caught up in our own worlds that we fail to see both the truth and the beauty of the very thing that may be right in front of us. One of the experiences that makes us fly is being seen. I think of my greatest mentors, coaches, loves, friends, and family, and I know when I flourish under any time with these people is when I am truly seen for who I am. Conversely, when we are not seen for any reason we can crumple, feel invisible, and disappear. There are many reasons that we fail to really see others, often we are simply too self-involved, sometimes it's because our thick paradigms don't allow us to really hold compassion and presence for others. Other times what others are doing might be out of our realm of understanding and what we already know, and lastly what others may be may threaten our very experience of the world and how we view ourselves so we unconsciously try to not see them to protect ourselves. It is a vast and diverse world, and there is something to learn from everyone and everything around us, even those that we may perceive as not on the level that we hold ourselves to.
My partner noticed recently when I was in a group situation - I went into a meditative state and just responded on time to the events, comments, weather, and whatever. I had to think about why I did that, because after some days spent with these people only one of them asked me about myself - and I had asked them all about themselves because I cared. It wasn't that I had an overwhelming need to talk about myself, but I did have a need for people to make the effort to see the world around them and to make genuine connections. I love the quote "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people." I had a desire for them to engage in an authentic way with those around them, to try to see who they are and to care. Ideas come from the space of getting into the unknown, and genuine loving exchanges means we are willing to learn from each other. The highest and most extraordinary form of seeing is to see someone even when they can no longer see themselves. It takes an extremely selfless and thoughtful person to do this. I have had this experience when I was in transitions and friends, a partner, or a mentor saw what was in me even when in the moment I could no longer see it in myself. It is the most profound gift. I have had the gift of seeing people that I love even when they are in pain and lost to themselves in a period of growth.
This is my plea. Relax your mind, let go of your own assumptions, and listen. Listen and learn.You might be surprised what you see. Others may look new to you, you may learn something about them and yourself, and I guarantee they will feel more seen. This creates connections, this creates community, this creates truth, ideas, and love. I promise to try to see each and every one of you when I am in the same space with you, I want to see you. I want to see the whole world and to be seen.
