Recently I went to visit my grandmother. She lives in an assisted living facility. I always find these facilities strange, even the ones with excellent care. There is something unnatural about places that are just for elders, as well as having places that are just for babies or kids. True bliss and fulfillment often comes from integration into community for all. We need each other in our diversity of ages and stages, to keep us fresh, help use grow, and feel that each place of our existence is vital.
There was one moment that struck me when I was at the facility with my grandmother. We were sitting down to dinner with her, and a woman at another table started shouting. At first it was soft "I am alone", then it grew "I am alone", louder and louder, "I am alone, I am alone, I am alone!!!" She was seated at the table alone, and her realization of this shook her to her core. A small woman from another table got up and wheeled over to her with her walker, and sat down. They ate the rest of the meal in peace. I would look up and see one woman showing another woman the menu, then saying grace together, or sometimes holding hands. My mother commented that it was sad to see the women so upset. Truthfully, I was grateful. How often do many of us - not even in a facility - feel alone and not reach out. She reached out, she stated it boldly to the world that she was alone and it was not acceptable, and then her need for companionship was met. I learned from her. And, I for one will be much more direct in my needs for community and genuine love from here on out.
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| Photo by Tracy Lamont |
