Feminist Flexible

"I would clone her if I could" he says. "When her boyfriend went over seas for a year she didn't even really leave the house to show her loyalty to him. He asked me to go check in on her - strictly in a platonic fashion of course - so I did."  I am silent. I resist the urge to ask him if he fed her wet or dry food when he went over to check on her, and how often he had to change the litter. Maybe I am crazy, but that doesn't feel like loyalty to me, that just feels silly. Am I a feminist? Maybe. I think we are beyond the time when a woman doesn't leave the house to show her loyalty. And, vise vera, if I went away for a year from a man I loved (which I have done) I would hope he would do something exceptional and interesting in the freed up time without my presence. I don't like labels though. Am I vegan? Vegan flexible. Am I Heterosexual? Hetero flexible. Am I a feminist? Feminist flexible. I like to change up the roles. One day a bread winner, one day a bread maker. One day wearing a suit and tie, one day rolling barefoot and playing with the baby. But staying in one's house for a year while their partner galavants around the world just seems absurd. I'm sure I must not have the entire picture, it can't be so. But, all I have to say is for me loyalty is not based on a location, it's a state of mind. I know I'm in love when I'm at a party dancing and all sorts of people are hitting on me and all I can think about is I wish my man was there to enjoy it with me but he couldn't go that night. Or, at times I remember loving someone so much I'd miss them when they stepped into the bathroom. Missing them, yes. Proudly reporting to a suitor that I was off the market because I was in love, certainly. Staying in my house for a year? No. And, I would question someones' love for me if they needed me to sacrifice  the fullness of life in that way to feel secure. No real man would do that, and certainly no man of mine.