To Be Born.

There are five main regrets that people have on their deathbed, they are as follows:
1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard
3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

Photo by Navid Baraty from "ODE"

When I first read these I was surprised that they were simpler than I would have expected. Basically saying in one way or another, I wish I would have done what I wanted to do, said what I wanted to say, expressed how I really felt, spent time with the people that I love, and enjoyed it all while I was in the process of doing it. Let us not forget what it is to be born, and the gift that we have in simply being alive. I think so many people feel the hum drum of life, and forget the miracle. There are a lot of scary things going on in the world right now - a lot. There are wars, hate, intolerance, famine, homes breaking, health scares, natural disasters, not to mention the silent and deadly throngs of depression. And, even in all those things, I am still grateful to be born. I am grateful to be here to experience life. I am grateful to have things that I love to do, to see a view that blows my mind, to laugh so hard I can't breathe, to feel safe in the arms of someone that I love, to work hard and grow and learn new things. To have the strength to overcome travesties and turn them into triumphs. I am glad I am here, I don't want to take it for granted, I don't want to waste a moment. I want to do what I love every day and would do forever no matter what it takes. I want to help others when they feel alone. When they want to give up, we all must help each other on this journey, it is a gift to even be here to experience is. I never want to get to numb to what it means to be alive. I am here, I am born.

Progressive Hardship

Fall seven times, get up eight. Fail forward. I watched an inspiring speech by Denzel Washington a few weeks ago, and I loved his words - especially the last of it, "Ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship." I thought about this in many ways, at many times, in many circumstances. At times people have asked me how I got to be the way that I am. I have thought about this and I came to some conclusions. Two things: Pain and hard work, this is what has carved me. Pain itself will not carve you if you do nothing with it, but if you look at it, embrace it, and make it something - it will do everything. As Eckhart Tolle says suffering can be a doorway to enlightenment if you let it be. Anything of value takes work, takes getting beyond yourself, and going to the next step through uncomfortably. You can have two people that have achieved worldly success in their life, and they come from very different backgrounds, but I guarantee the one who is fulfilled is the one who looked at what they wanted and what they needed in life and worked towards it. Sometimes the most blissful people come from painful backgrounds, and the most unsatisfied people come from backgrounds that were quite comfortable. Happiness come from being happy with yourself, and being happy with yourself comes from working towards your dreams, which takes love and commitment. Granted this is easier said than done, as I just opened another letter of telling me they can't fund an artistic project I want to do...so I must take my own advice in this process as much as anyone. I must keep on plugging towards my dreams endlessly. What does this all mean? Embrace the hardship and pain, make it your friend. Use it to learn what you need to learn and take yourself as far as you can possibly go towards truth and what you truly love.

Photo by Valera Vulfson

We are Alone.

Recently I went to visit my grandmother. She lives in an assisted living facility. I always find these facilities strange, even the ones with excellent care. There is something unnatural about places that are just for elders, as well as having places that are just for babies or kids. True bliss and fulfillment often comes from integration into community for all. We need each other in our diversity of ages and stages, to keep us fresh, help use grow, and feel that each place of our existence is vital.

There was one moment that struck me when I was at the facility with my grandmother. We were sitting down to dinner with her, and a woman at another table started shouting. At first it was soft "I am alone", then it grew "I am alone", louder and louder, "I am alone, I am alone, I am alone!!!" She was seated at the table alone, and her realization of this shook her to her core. A small woman from another table got up and wheeled over to her with her walker, and sat down. They ate the rest of the meal in peace. I would look up and see one woman showing another woman the menu, then saying grace together, or sometimes holding hands. My mother commented that it was sad to see the women so upset. Truthfully, I was grateful. How often do many of us  - not even in a facility - feel alone and not reach out. She reached out, she stated it boldly to the world that she was alone and it was not acceptable, and then her need for companionship was met. I learned from her. And, I for one will be much more direct in my needs for community and genuine love from here on out.

Photo by Tracy Lamont

We are all Warriors

When we started on this video it wasn't about politics, it wasn't about gender, it wasn't about race, sexuality, anger, and yet somehow upon it's completion I can't help but feel this video reflects so much about the current circumstances. We are all warriors in our own right -  fighting for what is true both in our life and for our legacy. Fighting for how we must spend each day, and for what we want to leave behind when we are gone. 

Samurai are known to be warriors who dedicated a lifetime to the practice of service, and I always wondered how we could continue to do that in our everyday life. We can be spiritual warriors of service to all, in every aspect of our existence even in the most mundane everyday tasks. It starts with the battle of acceptance of ourselves, from there we can start to be the best version of our truest self for us and for our community. 

This song and music video are about that, and came out of a little book we wrote called “The Eightfold Path of the Urban Samurai” : 

The Eightfold Path of the Urban Samurai - Please Enjoy our Book!

Urban Samurai Music Video   - Please Enjoy our Music Video!

Photo by Valera Vulfson

There are many people to thank for making this music video project a reality. Val Vulfson and Trinh Ho our directors, the NorthWest Kendo Dojo, the beautiful singing of Jenny Karr, and her vocal producer Mathia Gaverial, original music by Carl Clark, family and friends, and our glorious children from West Seattle, embodying the next generation of spiritual warriors. 

Please connect with me by visiting my website www.simonebruyerefraser.com. Come create art with me, like our facebook page, our Youtube channel, or lets serve our community together. Join our team. Go laugh, play, make art, and declare your day.

Princess of the Porta Potty

It was a half hour before my audition. I was driving in the middle of no where for hours and I had to use the rest room. I had dressed for my audition before I started the drive to allow myself to be in character during the journey. I wore a long, big, flowing white dress, big dangling earrings, full make up, tousled hair, and combat boots. I looked for rest stop signs, or a place where there might be a public restroom I could use, but I didn't see anything....for miles.

 I continued driving until a saw a small porta potty at the end of a large construction site. I thought to myself, this will be quick, I'll just jump out of the car - use it real fast and jump right back on the road. Not a moment wasted. The construction site was completely abandoned. Not a worker on site, all the cranes were in a resting position at another corner of the lot far from the potty. I pulled over. 

I step out of the car, and hike my big white flowing dress up exposing my combat boots. There is a slight breeze that fans my hair and balloons my dress, I start marching towards the porta potty. When I get there the door is slightly ajar and the handle is a full green, unoccupied ready for me to go, so I take my hand and in a whirlwind fling open the door...

 Much to my utter shock and surprise - it is occupied. A construction worker is sitting in a very stable position that seems it has been sunken into for some time now. One hand appears to be reaching behind him, with a wad full of toilet paper. I am in shock. Time slows down. The breeze comes again and fills my hair and dress with life. He looks up at me, his eyes wide like saucers, and his mouth slightly ajar. I take the time to notice...he is handsome. He's young with dark skin, big Bambi eyes, pearly white teeth, and wearing a large construction hat and a shiny orange vest. I realize by now I have been holding the door open for what may be an abnormally long time considering the circumstances. His expression and body - hand position have not moved one millimeter since I opened the door.  I decide I should say something.

" Oh Hello!!!! Have a beautiful day!!!!" And with that I close the door to his throne. My hands reach for my dress, and I gather it up again. I march towards my car with my stomping boots, the breeze dancing around my suddenly extremely hot and pulsing body. The car appears to be miles away, but I finally make it back to my safe zone. I get in the car and lock the door, locking a door is a must I now realize, even if you think you are alone. I think about all the times I am alone in my house and leave the bathroom door open just because I can. I pull my car on to the road. I start to laugh, then I start to cry, I can barely breath I am laughing so hard. I can't even see the road through my laughing and tears. I just keep thinking about this lovely mans face when I opened the door. It all  must have been so surreal for him. I contemplate as I drive if I should have stayed to have a chat with him and used the bathroom, nope. I didn't seem to feel the need to use the restroom anymore.

Mission accomplished. I was ready for my acting audition. What is the meaning of all this? Well, take what you want from it, but for me it is two things. One, laughter is always the best medicine and two, take the road less traveled, it will make all the difference. I promise.

The Art of Connection

How do we connect to others? What makes a true intimate connection, and a feeling of being one with others? We try to understand what they are going through and working on, we try to practically help them with our actions and lend a helping hand, we listen, and we empathize with whatever feelings they may have.
Recently I had an audition for something, and sometimes I film myself just to get a feel of the work. This is my very first improv run through so don't mind my playing with the work,  but pay attention to Koshka the cat and the very strong reaction she has to the process - which blew my mind. I didn't see it coming but was very touched. Her level of being in tune and how she wanted to connect is something we can all learn from. :)

YouTube Video Link - Cat Acting

Here are some of the things I observed, and I hope to remember and use them as I connect with others:

#1. She looks at the scripts and papers I am reading and studies what I am doing and what they are about
#2. She gets on my back actually tries to help pull and shout and help me do the action I am doing
#3. She listens, she is present, and tries to understand and doesn't try to change me when I am processing
#4. When my emotions become very strong she tries to hug and console me and actually cries with me

Let us all move through life being Fully Feeling Feline's...

Go. Get. It.

I'm talking about what you want in life more than anything. The big dream. It has nothing to do with other people. It has everything to do with you. People will say no, I say GO. No what? No when? No how? No why? No way! There is ALWAYS a way. It all begins when they say no and you go anyway. Why? Because that is when you take responsibility for yourself, for your life, for your vision, for your truth. Begin the journey of seeing "No" as just a small bump in the road where you run a little harder towards your goals.