Butterscotch Candy

It was seven thirty at night, late to be visiting Grandma Joan. I'm not sure what the usual bedtime is for a woman in her late eighties, but I wouldn't gather it would go past eight. I wanted to check on her though, even if she was asleep, as my folks were out of town and she wasn't getting her usual daily visits. I walk in and they tell me they have her already tucked in bed, but I can still go see her anyway, no problem. I go upstairs and find her as they said, Pajamas, check. Water by bed, check. Comforters tucked in at every corner, check check. Grandma Joan wide awake and ready for a Friday night party triple check. What? "Who's that?" she says as I slip in the room. "It's Simone, Grandma Joan." "Oooh Simone!!" She says. "Did I catch you at an ok time? I don't wanna keep you up." " Oh goodness"  she says " No, perfect timing I was just looking for some company, what should we do?" And, for a moment I feel caught, should I go down and get her secret stash of wine? Or, maybe I can get the nail polish out  and we can do  her nails? Or, maybe I can find something fun on the T.V.? The list flashed quickly through my mind. "Well, that's up to you Grandma Joan, I'm just here to spend some time with you. Would you like something to drink?" "Yes" she says, and before I can think of grabbing the wine from the basement she says. "Hand me that cup of water by my bed please will you?" So, I do, and then realize she is lying completely flat and I am not exactly sure how this drinking process is going to work. I envision trying to pour a fountain of water down her throat, nope, not going to work. Definitely not going to work." So, Grandma Joan, do you want me to..." and then I see the bed is slightly lifted in the back already. Oh, it's one of those beds, I think to myself, those magical moving beds. Now if I could only figure out how to move it. "Down there" she says and points towards her feet, where I see a fancy bed remote. Oh no, I have visions of Grandma Joan being turning into a human pretzel as I can't figure out to stop the bed from lifting her feet over her head. But, it worked out, she eventually got her water. And, as she was happily drinking she turned to me and said " You know what we need up here are some straws." Brilliant, I thought to myself, she has it, the woman still has it. 

We get into discussions that I say I haven't have been able to have with her for at least over a year, as her dementia has been progressing in it's presence. She asked me about my father, and told me how wonderful he was, and when she first met him she said to her daughter. "This is it for you, you either marry this man or it's off to the convent for you because your nuts!" I comment that she seems to have a knack for picking good men, as she did with her husband of over sixty years. "Oh goodness" she says to me. "Oh Bill, I love him so much, I think about him all the time, I even dream about him." I mention that my folks are at a wedding for one of her older grandchildren and she fondly remembers a toe ring I had given to her at her last grandchild's wedding. The ring was actually on my toe, but she liked it so much I gave it to her. She rocked that toe ring as anyone could. I mention to her that the summer is coming and she says "Oh yes, I'll have to get a new dress for that, and then put on the toe ring." We laughed, we laughed a lot. I can't even remember what all about, but you know you've had a good time when Grandma Joan is laughing. She has one of those special laughs where her jaw actually drops to her chest, and if you're lucky you'll get a hand through the her hair and a slap on the knee all at the same time.  I kept worrying that I was keeping her up, and when I would mention it she would say "If you were keeping me up, I would tell you." And, it was true. One thing about Grandma Joan is you always know where you stand with her. So the night continued. I re-filled her water cup about three times, and mine as well. We were two hydrated partiers. Over two hours later she finally acknowledged she was a little sleepy and it was time for me to go. I got her all set up and hovered close for my goodbye. "You know Grandma Joan" I say "you look beautiful", and she did, white hair, serene face, glimmer in the eye, and she looks right back and me and says "Goodness, I was just about to tell you the same thing," and then she flat out giggled "If someone were watching us, they would think we were in love." I laughed really hard at that one. "Tell your folks what a nice time we had tonight, will you?" she says, and I nod. And, then she pauses for a moment and looks at me with love, but a very serious expression "But, next time, bring candy." And, I tried not to bust out in an eruption of laughter. "Oh yeah, candy? like chocolates?". " No" she says "Not, chocolate, that's not good for you. Bring those hard candies, like the ones you can suck on." "Berry flavored?" I ask, my knowledge of candy being limited. "No", she says Butterscotch, butterscotch candies."  It's good to know even in a world of dementia and an ailing body, that we can get these magical moments, these great evenings that are so full of joy and wonder that the only thing that might possibly make them any better is a small butterscotch candy. Sweet, with a lot of bite, that's her alright.